BLOG 65. SILLY RULES
By Cliff Jacobson
Every national park and wilderness area has some silly
rules. Some apply simple solutions
to complex problems. Others are
sound but unworkable because they expect too much or they don’t clarify
concerns. And others just don’t make sense at all. Here are some of my favorites:
1.
Heading the list is the rule to tree your food
when bears are around. This rule
applies to every national park and wilderness area, despite the clear fact that
bears climb trees. I’ve addressed
this nonsense in blog #8.
2.
This one is from Minnesota’s Boundary Water
Canoe Area: “Try to plan your meals so you don’t have left-overs. If you do, pack them out!” Here’s what happens if you pack out your
left-over chili: By the third day
of your canoe trip the chili will be smelling pretty ripe in the July heat. By
day five the odor will attract those hungry bears you want to avoid. If you hoist the chili into a tree at
night with your food pack, as recommended by park authorities, the smell will
waft much farther. Best have
plenty of pepper spray or a gun on hand!
A better plan is to burn what you can and bury what you can’t! I think the feds are out-to-lunch on
this one.
3.
Here’s another one from the BWCA: “Food may be packaged in plastic
containers that must be packed out with you”.
The rationale is that burning
plastic creates hydrocarbons that pollute the environment. Give me a break: You just drove 200
miles to the BWCA, that’s 400 miles round trip. Your car gets 30 mpg—it burned 13 gallons of gas. A gallon
of gas weighs about six pounds. So, 6 x 13 = 78 pounds of hydrocarbons. Now, see if I got this right: it’s okay
to burn 78 pounds of hydrocarbons in your car but it’s not okay to burn a
plastic bag that weighs less than an ounce. I might add that those empty plastic food bags that will
fill your garbage bag contain small amounts of powdered food which, when they
absorb moisture, will begin to degrade and smell. Dinner is served: call in the critters! It’s safer and wiser to burn plastic
bags in your campfire. Sorry,
feds, I don’t buy this one either.
4.
Again from the BWCA: “Bathe and wash dishes at least 150 feet from lakes and
streams”.
Good rule, really. But 150 feet? C’mon now, novice campers may get lost in the woods if they
wander that far from camp! Besides, the forest service sponsored video, “Leave
no trace” shows people washing dishes in camp, not deep in the bush. I’d re-write the rule to read: “Wash
dishes well away from the lake or river.” And I’d leave it at that.
5.
BWCA rule: “If you build a fire, burn only dead
wood found lying on the ground.
And, “wood easily broken by hand or cut with a small folding saw
eliminates the need for an axe.”
 |
| Give me a break! There's plenty of big, downed wood in the BWCA and Quetico. Nobody makes "little stick" fires, not even the Feds! |
I’ve canoed all over Canada and
parts of Alaska and I can honestly say that the hardest place to make a
campfire is in the Boundary Waters. Why?
Because all the good wood has been picked over! To make a reliable blaze
one often has to search the woods for a dead downed tree, saw off a limb and
split it to get at the dry heartwood.
A Swiss army knife won’t cut it!
An ax will! Yes, you can
make fire in rain with a little folding saw and jack knife, if you know exactly
what you’re doing! Most people don’t, so they choke the fire-grate with green
cedar boughs and birch bark and hope for the best. Caring campers will later
clean out the mess. Better to
bring a full-frame saw and hand-axe and to use the two-handed, SAFE wood-
splitting procedure outlined in my books.
That way, you can make a cheery blaze in any weather.
7.
BWCA RULE: “It’s illegal to cut live vegetation
for any reason.”
 |
| There is no trail maintenance in Canada. We "opened up" this portage along the MacFarland River in Saskatchewan. I think we cut about 1000 trees! |
This is a good rule but it doesn’t
address an important safety issue. Scenario: The wind is howling and the waves
are running wild when you pull into the only unoccupied campsite on the lake.
There’s a small clearing, enough for two tents, that’s all. The rest of the
site is tightly wooded and rocky.
Overhead, the trees sway violently with the wind. A small, live tree
(widow-maker) with a wind-split bole leans precariously over the tent-spot; a
strong wind could send it crashing down on you. Should you cut it down? Yes! Does the law permit it? No! I might add that the Forest Service, like other governmental
organizations, is strapped for money.
Field maintenance crews, which once dotted the portages, have been
reduced. The result is that portage trails and campsites are cleared less often
than in the past. You should know that in Crown Land, Canada, there is no trail
or campsite maintenance whatsoever. Clearing portages and campsites is up to
you—another reason why you should carry the tools to do the job!
8.
“Latrines are not garbage cans and should be
used for the intended purpose only”.
This important rule should be
followed by everyone. In the days when wooden “thrones” ruled Boundary Waters
campsites, the inside lid of each box was stamped FOR TOILET USE ONLY. Still, people threw garbage into the
hole, thinking a bear wouldn’t look there. Truth is a hungry bear would tear the
box apart and dig in the hole to get those left-overs. Education, not
legislation would have been a better answer. I’d change the words to read: IF YOU WANT TO ATTRACT BEARS, THROW GARBAGE HERE! The FOR
TOILET USE ONLY stamp reminds me of a sign that was popular a few decades
ago. It read: “Give a hoot, don’t
pollute!” Tell me, please, how do
I do that? What action do you want
me to take? Again, education trumps legislation!
9.
Here’s one from the BWCA that hardly anyone
follows: “Dispose of fecal matter
(from your dog) 150 feet from water sources, capsites, portages, or deposit in
a latrine.”
Granted, it’s no fun to step in
dog poo while hiking down a portage trail, but bear, coyote and fox scat is
just as bad, and they don’t clean up their mess. Dogs are relatively rare in
the Boundary Waters and fortunately, the ones I’ve met have been well-behaved
and, like their human masters, are having a good time without hurting anything.
So why address a problem that largely doesn’t exist—and make a rule that dog
owners won’t follow?
10. Here’s a good rule all should
follow: “Dispose of fish
remains well away from shorelines, campsites, trails and portages”. This rule is well-written, simple, easy
to understand and to the point.
Now, if they’d just write ‘em all this way, I would be a happy camper!
11. This is a “recommendation” not
a rule: “Other campers will enjoy a more remote experience if your gear is a
drab color that blends into the forest”.
Perhaps. But there are important
down-sides: Safety heads the list.
If you have to be rescued, a float plane WILL NOT see a green canoe,
olive-drab tarp and brown tent.
And if you’re portaging down a little used trail and set your marine
green pack off to the side in the bush, you may never find it again. This
happened to me on an unrefined portage in Saskatchewan, I lost the portage
trail and set down my green Old Town Tripper to go exploring. It took me more than an hour to find
it! I vowed then that I would
never own another green canoe!
 |
| Bright colors are a safety feature. And, they add interest to your photos. |
A camouflaged camp is hard to see
so canoeists who are looking for a campsite will paddle very close to yours to
determine if it’s occupied. Color will keep them away.
13. “Camp on durable ground”. This applies to Alaska’s Noatak River, which I canoed in
2010.
 |
| Durable ground is that green hill 300 yards away. This is a gravel bar along the Noatak River, Alaska |
You obtain your permit from the
National Park Service, after which you are required to see a “leave-no-trace”
film before you begin your trip.
The announcer says to CAMP ON DURABLE GROUND. The camera pans to a rocky beach about 50 yards from the
river. But a rocky beach IS NOT
durable ground. Durable ground is at the top of a hill some 200 yards away.
Carrying your canoe up that steep hill will be quite a feat. Few will do it. The film goes on to
show a crew making a campfire on this “durable” beach. They lay out a plastic tarp then shovel
sand and gravel on top. They build their fire over this. Next morning when the fire is dead and
cold, they are shown pouring the ashes into the river. Evidently, they pack the
plastic sheet for “fire use” at the next campsite.
How absurd! A gravel beach is not
a durable surface. Rains will wash the campfire remains into the river and the
beach will flood several times a season. So why the plastic? Better to toss the cold, burned wood
into the river, shovel gravel over the fire place to leave-no-trace and be
gone. Using a plastic tarp under a
fire on a surface that floods frequently is among the silliest rules I’ve
encountered in my travels. I can’t imagine anyone will do it.
Cliff Jacobson
www.cliff-jacobson.com
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